Pre-Retirement Days

 When my husband and I were still in the thick of kids in school, sports, dance, summer jobs for all the them, both of us working. Trying to figure out what we were actually doing with our lives. Every hour of most days scheduled out to the minute, we were also coming to the realization that these kids were getting close to being out of the house and then what?  Now I must say we are very independent people. Even when we were dating in college he would go out with his friends and I with mine, then meet up, all of us at the end of the night for some greasy food only college kids will eat in the wee hours of the morning.  For most of our marriage we worked opposite shifts, seeing each other for family dinner with the kids or maybe at the gym before work for me, on the way home for him.

So the thought of being home alone again in the house without the three distractions we had brought into this world seemed slightly daunting. When #1 was in college and #2 on the way there, leaving #3 in middle school, cue huge attitude, we decided we needed some practice retirement days.  And what would such days consist of you ask.  Well that is the million dollar question is it not? If you can believe it there are people we have all come across in our working lives that continue to work and work and work long past what I personally believe should be the time to retire. It is not that they are no longer capable, but aren't they tired? I am!. I got my first job when I was 13 and many times worked more than one job at a time. All of that in hopes of retiring and enjoying my 'hobbies' and interests on a full time basis. That being said, I DO have hobbies and interests dare I say maybe more than any sane person should have. I am also aware this is probably not the norm, so I get it. I'm just saying for me, I couldn't wait to start working because I didn't love school. I also did not relish the lifestyle of the starving crafter/artist/freelancer. So here I am jack of all trades, master of none as they say and I'm ready to spend my days doing it all!

Getting back to the topic at hand, we started by just clearing a week day. One we both had off work; maybe twice a month.  We made a list which usually consisted of Costco, Home Depot and possibly some sort of garden center if it was the right time of year.  There were usually a couple of things we actually needed, but it was a lot wandering around and thinking about things we might need and why and where we would put them. If that discussion came to a legitimate conclusion the thing what-ever-it-was, would be purchased. There might also be a quick lunch, or coffee. A late night trip to some dive-y place for pie, which at our age was often heartburn inducing. You only live once; right?!

The maiden voyage involved a lot of "Where are we going?", "Oh, I don't usually go this way.", "Why are you looking at that?", "What are you doing?" usually on my part. Met with, "Well I don't know how I have survived the last 50+ years without this level of monitoring." on his part.  There was a definite adjustment period, but the thing we did learn was that we do still like each other enough to spend time together without the distraction of a day-in-the-life of a family of 5.  AND...we remain very independent people.

So, we will not be the couple golfing together with the matching outfits, starting an Etsy shop making the craft show rounds in an RV, or even joining the same church committee. We WILL be the couple that laughs until we snort, can appreciate a good dinner out knowing there must always be dessert, will remain a unified front against whatever the 3 offspring bring to us good or bad.

All that being said, we had a fantastic 'pre-retirement day' last week.  We packed up my paddle board and his bike and headed for a local lake.  It was a sunny day but not scorching hot. I hit the water and he the trail. We both had a great time doing what we enjoy best, with plenty of observations to report back to each other on the way home.

It has never been that we don't want to spend time together, but sometimes, if you are never apart you can lose sight of how much you appreciate each other and all the little things you bring to each other. I can’t imagine having any other kind of relationship, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Family Milestones - Adventure Awaits!

 Twenty five years ago we were waiting to have our first child.  All the worry, anxiety, anticipation, fear, exhaustion of pregnancy ending in a summer full of 100 degree days that are rare in Oregon. Which is why I found myself in an un air-conditioned house wondering if this baby would ever come. He was only a few days late but it seemed like an eternity.

He did arrive after 24 hours of labor and good enough sized 8 lbs and 8 ounces. Then starts the worrying and the day to day adventures. Colic, first teeth, colds, falls, crawling, walking, talking.

You wonder if they will ever do this or that and then when they do, you think, "Why was I in such a hurry for that to happen?"

You go back to work, they go to daycare. Then you trust some teenager with your precious baby while you try to go out to dinner, only to talk about them the entire time and come home early because you can't think of anything else to do.

Kindergarten, first communion, sports, middle school band, plays, choir, on and on the milestones stacking up. Good grades, missed assignments, poor decisions, tears, driver's license, jobs, high school graduation. Moments of supreme pride, self doubt and tearful disappointment.

College. With all the things. Parties, bars, roommates, first time independent decisions far from home or any sort of safety net. - Oh yeah, classes. 

Military boot camp, cars, more decisions, more work, more jobs, more classes, covid, deployment. All of these things a parental emotional roller coaster with us wearing out our rosary beads as an adult life emerges.

This is how we found ourselves making the 1 1/2 hr drive to see our firstborn graduate from college. We left in plenty of time to make the trip, pick up child #1 and get to the arena where the doors opened for first come first serve seating an hour prior to the 1pm ceremony. I wanted to try and get a family picture since all children were present and we had a built in photographer with kid #2's boyfriend.

Roughly 30 miles from our destination interstate traffic came to a complete halt. We had just passed an interchange and were at the point of no return to utilize it. We were however situated at the end of an entrance ramp. It only took about a minute for us to decide to drive up the on ramp and strike out to try and bypass whatever was causing this back up. Enter online navigation. My husband, our youngest and I were in the truck. #2 and her boyfriend were following. We turned on the first road that would take us around and then back to the interstate. #2's navigation took them a different route. - Thank goodness.

Roughly 15 min later we were stuck on an unmaintained road, heavy rain overnight making the 4WD totally ineffective. We watched as other cars and trucks came over the hill. My husband trying to warn them away as he walked to the nearest farm in search of rescue. When a second truck buried their front end in the roadside ditch ahead of us we phoned #2, told her to get in touch with #1 and continue to graduation and secure seats. 

Confidently calling AAA in case there was no one home at the farm we were notified that "due to increased activity in our area" we could expect a tow in 4 HOURS! To say the least, not the words we were hoping to hear. 

Karmically rewarded for leading ok lives the farm was found occupied however his tractor was at another location and we had already proven more than adequately that a pick up would not suffice.

Back at the truck.....the other castaways of the muddy road had recovery boards. (www.usactiontrax.com) Their vehicle was too deep in the ditch to use them, so they brought them to us. 20 minutes later a lot of mud, prayers, crossed fingers, and possibly some swearing we were on our way. A tractor en route for our new acquaintances. 

Having started out the day with plenty of time we were now last minute arrivals. #3 and I were unceremoniously ejected from the vehicle and hurried on foot to the arena. #2 and her boyfriend had secured seats. Whew. Hubby parked the truck and arrived slightly mud spattered but able to signal to #1 that all were present.

As he approached the stage, we anticipated the reading of his name, excited to see it on the big screen as he shook the hand of some academic official. Watching with cameras poised to take photos of him crossing the stage there it was, "Congratulations Graduate". At least we were all there to see.

Crazy Pencil Lady

As you know our #2 is a girl. She is the kind of girl that must have every minute of every day planned and occupied with activities. She is in band, dance, sports, the middle school play. I am her underpaid over worked chauffeur, laundress and chef.

We (I) attempt to keep each activity organized in their own string bag, duffle, backpack so that we are not always loading and unloading said bags. That just leaves school, which is after all her primary occupation at this time in her life, or so we keep telling her. "School" things go in her backpack. It is a huge pink monstrosity that is half as big as her and probably weighs as much.

Now there are things in this backpack that I'm sure have been in there for over a year. This girl is a Magpie. Any little piece of paper, sparkly object, something pink, glittery, you get the idea. Her particular weakness seems to be pencils, Yes I said pencils. 

I know and most people over the age of 30 know that pencils are usually yellow writing utensils with a red  eraser on the top. Of course if you are younger than me, which most people seem to be, pencils are a growth industry.

They have pencils for every holiday, pink camouflage, Tinker Bell, NFL teams, GI Joe. There are infinite possibilities. They come home in every 'goodie bag' from every party. Kids give and exchange them as gifts. It is insane! This is a particular sticking point between my husband and #2. Her hoarding manifests in pencils. Like any self respecting invasive species she seems to shed pencils as she moves through the house. There is at least one pencil in every room of the house, every closet, under all pieces of furniture. They explode from her back pack and seem to crawl from her bedroom under their own power. Side note; none of them has a usable eraser or a lead sharp enough to write with.

How do I know they belong to her you ask? I mean there are 4 other people living in the house. I refer you back to her Magpie tendencies. The offending objects are usually pink, purple possibly green. they are covered with hearts, fairies, kittens or butterflies. Suffice it to say they belong to #2.

One particular frustration fueled exchange between #2 and my husband went something like this. "One day the neighbors are going to call the police because they haven't seen you for a few days and you will be found in a house filled with pencils. You will be using the pencils to heat the house. You will be the Crazy Pencil Lady!". #2's response was an anticlimactic, "Ok, Dad." It effectively ended the conversation.

This is yet another find from the unpublished archives. Added bonus is a trip down memory lane as #2 prepares to leave her first job, teaching at an inner city public school to relocate 2 states away. This move will take place with the reluctant help of her younger brother and her father. (I sadly-read sarcasm-am working) Her father is much put upon (although he would have it no other way) this is communicated by him continually saying, "Don't you have friends? (she does) Your mother and I had friends come and help us load the truck, fed them beer and pizza and we were on our way. We're getting too old to be moving you people around."

As with all things there are moments when she brings me bride's maids dresses to alter, asks me to film her color guard routines that she is now choreographing and being paid for free lance, when she asks me, "Can you please watch my cat until I'm fully moved?" that I think, if only it was as easy as asking her to pick up a few wayward pencils.

-Epilogue- 

It has probably been at least 12 years since the original portion of this post was written. We have 4 collective moves under our belts. Ours including a cross country move and hers to a first apartment living on her own. Yesterday I found a Valentine pencil, -we have been in this newly built house for less than a year- unsharpened, it does have a usable eraser. Time is not a linear thing.

Don't worry, I'm still here!

 It's been a minute. Time has a way of moving forward unimpeded regardless of our documenting and chronicling its every moment.

Now in my 50s, I have one teen left. He is home for the summer, but spends the majority of the year in Arizona where he goes to school. He was back a week and managed with the help of his Dad to get a job for the summer. More than I could have hoped for! Working in the bag room at a country club golf course. More than HE could have hoped for.

The other two are college grads with jobs and lives and officially off of our family payroll, as we say. Successfully launched, as my friend would say.

I am attempting to wean myself from a 32 year adrenaline addiction working in critical care. I won't say I don't miss it. I will say it's better for me, I know that. Will I continue to be good to myself? That remains to be seen.

My husband is retired from law enforcement. He currently lives his best life as a would be farmer, part time morgue attendant and golf starter at the afore mentioned country club. Who says you can't learn new things?

We built a house on 25 acres in a rural setting. We are throughly enjoying the quiet, self sufficiency, hard work and learning new things. Neighbors are kind, welcoming and always willing to help out in a jam. I think they take pity on the town folks that have come to live in the country. It is a very different lifestyle. A change that we were ready for whether we realized it our not.

So it may be that I'm too busy to write or that it is no longer a priority or, I just don't know where it fits in with this new life. It is a learning curve, and we are on it. So stay tuned!

An Organized Home is An Elusive Creature

We are currently in the throws of packing for a cross country move. It has been a death by 1,000 moves. While attempting to navigate Covid, both of us 'essential workers', our thoughts of retirement began to crystallize into a formal plan. In the space of 5 months we purchased 25 acres, found a builder, sold our house, moved into an apartment and started shuffling our belongings from Oregon to Iowa one pick-up truck load at a time. Now in the final few weeks, work is winding down, farewell parties are happening as we wait for our #3 to graduate from high school and the majority of our things are in the completed house over 1400 miles away.

As I continue to go through every little thing, I found a previously written (apparently 8 or so years ago) but until now unpublished observation so here we go!

We have a large entry way. I really like it. It's open with lots of room, high ceilings and hardwood floors. the problem seems to be we cannot decide what to do with the space.

Currently there is a LARGE bookshelf/filing drawer combination sitting there. It is functional and fits well in the space. It looks nice enough, but it is not my favorite piece of furniture and it's the first thing you see when you enter the house.

I would like one of those nice multi purpose units. You know it has a shelf with small cubbies and hooks on the top portion and then a bench with larger cubbies and baskets to hide things away on the bottom. They are usually prominently featured and obscenely over priced in every Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrel catalog you receive in the mail. Apparently if you order one thing from either of these stores they assume you need to order weekly! -- That is a whole other story.

I do have valid reasons for desiring this storage monstrosity. They are #1, the oldest affectionately know as 'the senator', #2 the girl and #3 I-forgot-my-sharing.

These three people are waging a daily battle with my husband and I to take over and invade all the available spaces in the household. They are like alligators or some invasive plant species that continue to expand to fill all areas of their surroundings. No matter how many times you 'organize' their rooms with containers and shelves, no matter how many 'cubbies' or spaces they have in the shared closets of the house, no matter how you try to streamline the homework area, their STUFF is ever expanding, growing and filling every. square. inch. of. the. house.

The Pottery Barn/Crate and Barrel piece is PERFECT, I think. A row of hooks for coats, some storage in the top for small items and those great big baskets in the bench on the bottom. If you are a mom you know what I want to put in those baskets. SHOES! They are everywhere!

Currently this is how it goes. When we get home I say, 'Don't drop your stuff in the entryway or Dad's head will explode when he gets home". I continue on into the house to start the pre-dinner, someone needs to go to sports practice, homework has to be done, check e-mail, start a quick load of laundry routine.

They proceed to drop their stuff in the entry, mostly the girl. #1 usually makes it to his room to drop his things. Mr. I-forgot-my-sharing doesn't have much stuff yet. As #2 drops her sports bag full of large smelly basketball shoes and her gigantic horn, the baritone in the entryway she then moves to the kitchen where she drops her colossally over stuffed backpack near the table to start her homework.

So you can see how those cool baskets might come in handy for last minute clean ups of the afore mentioned shoes, pencils, hair ties, legos, baseball cards and a endless list of detritus that seem to be escaping from the children's rooms and their baggage.

Plot twist; my husband is adamantly apposed because he has a problem with baskets. He seems to have been traumatized by some sort of wicker or rattan in the 1970s.

I blame his sisters. He has 4, three of which were getting married in the late 60s and early 70s and decorating houses in the full blown 70s. You know their wedding pictures have big velvet bow ties and matching ruffled shirts. I won't even go in to the dresses. 

I'm sure at least one of them had one of those big rattan chairs and possibly a shelf or bedside table, not to mention the all purpose trunk that acted as a coffee table which leaves me married to Mr. I-Hate-Baskets.

Don't get me wrong, we do have some baskets in the house. I slip them into cupboards and closets. They are The Best way to make a messy storage situation look tidy.

In the bathrooms I went with those metal baskets. The ones you used to put your belongings in at the public pool when you were a kid and they give you a giant safety pin with a number tag on it. Some how these are nostalgic and manly enough to be tolerated. 

So, as it stands no cool Pottery Barn/Crate and Barrel/IKEA piece of organizing, coat hanging, basket storage for me in the entry. 

I will persevere. Whenever we get one of those catalogues in the mail I leave it in the basket in the bathroom. He's sure to see it there, maybe I'll wear him down.

Story update: the new house has just such a thing! It only took 11 years, a house build and a cross country move. 

 

Letting Go

So, I'm not going to go on about how I'm really going to be more present on the blog, run more, eat better, generate more followers and all that stuff that I sometimes think, but then run out of time for. I'll just say we can all see it's been awhile. No judging.  Update: Kid #1 now a senior in college, Go Hawks! and in the Army National Guard. Kid #2 now a sophomore in college, Go Big Red! and Husker Flagline. Kid #3 now a sophomore in high school. Time is flying and I'm just trying to keep it all together. Here goes!

As I was listening to the ever present NPR/OPB in the car, I don't even really remember where I was going, probably on the way home from a run with my friend or to work or on the way home from the farmer's market on Saturday.  Anyway who ever was talking, I wasn't really paying attention, was answering a question about having children and being a parent.  Her next comment really struck me.  Of course, I'm paraphrasing because I'm terrible at directly quoting people and I was driving.....  She said, 'the moment you are presented with this baby, this small person, however they come to you, from inside your body or adoption or foster or any of the ways that children come and make us parents, from that moment your life becomes an exercise in letting go.'

That just stopped my brain right in its tracks. How true, how so very true, these are the words I have been waiting for, I didn't know it but I was. It was like my whole life as a parent was crystallized in those words.  Every decision regarding my kids that I have made over the last 21 years had just been validated. In my eyes anyway.

To be clear, I'm not often looking for validation regarding my life decisions. Although I do appreciate these small gifts of reassurance in my life. I'm well aware that things I do and say are sometimes not anyone else's cup of tea.  I'm a direct communicator which seems to be a dying art/quality/characteristic and I'll just leave it at that.  I know that people find me harsh especially when it comes to my kids. Maybe I'm just saying what they're all thinking.  Now though I believe it is the result of this constant letting go, so maybe I can stop shaming myself about it.  I'm my own worst critic and wonder often if I've made the right decisions, if I should have been more of a touchy-feely mom? Honestly though, kumbaya is not my mantra, more like suck it up and move on.

My rational always was and I think still is that we - my husband and I are trying to prepare them to survive in the world on their own.  To advocate for themselves, to problem solve, to compromise, to live a good life.  I've always told them that I want them to grow up to be kind people, who work hard, that other people want to be around.

We have always maintained that we are not trying to ruin their day when we give advice or make suggestions but are trying to give them the benefit of our experiences and more so our mistakes.  I'm pretty sure we all do this because while we are trying to let them go we're are also trying to spare them any hurt. With new found clarity though I now see that the pain, self doubt, regret is part of the process, part of the growing.  Its what forms you and shapes you.

Now, I am finally beginning to see that this whole life of ours, us as parents and them as kids is all about separating when all along we thought it was about holding on. Staying with a sitter for the first time, going to school, every first sleep over, riding in someone else's car, walking the dog by themselves, staying home alone, setting out on their bikes to God-knows-where, pulling away from the house with a van full of friends heading to the beach. These were at first small separations for us building our trust in them and their abilities, and at the same time huge steps for them going out into the gigantic world outside our little family doing something they had never done before! Now the tables are turned with my husband and I taking the big scary steps of knowing that they have these lives away from us both geographically and emotionally that we cannot be a part of in the way we have become accustomed. We can only know what they give to us, glimpses into their new worlds.

Its hard to be objective when it comes to your kids but what I most want for them is to be happy and I know that's what everyone says. I guess what I really mean is having no regrets in the decisions that they make whatever they may be.

So as much as we pray, hope, long for the best, because seeing them make a decision about classes in college or a new job or a financial miss step hurts our hearts just like when they used to skin knees, sprain ankles and lose their favorite blanket, so much as we want to keep them from being hurt, it is about the letting go.

How do Moms have time to workout?

I am continually asked this question, so here is a day in the life situation. Obviously they are not ALL like this but it does go to show where there is a will there is a way!

Set the alarm for 4am. When it goes off reset it for 5am and go back to sleep, because your husband who usually works at night is home on vacation and it's hard to pass up some extra time in a warm bed. Hit snooze twice. Now you're kind of cutting it close. Shower-it's a no hair wash day.

Head downstairs, teen #1, 17 year old boy is already in the shower! Mildly shocking. Teen #2, 16 year old girl is already up and eating breakfast, no surprise there. Let the dog out, pack up the lunch you made last night, turn the light on in Tween 11 year old boy's room.

Mobile order your Tall Americano with 1 pump Sugar Free Cinnamon Dulce Syrup and Light Whip so you don't have to wait in line at Starbucks.

Out the door at 6:15am. At work by 6:35am. Put on scrubs, eat yogurt and granola in the breakroom, clock in at 7am.

Work 8 hours.

Teen #1 is at work making Pizza. Husband has dropped Tween at baseball practice on his way to work an overtime shift. Teen #2 needs to go to Walgreens to get 'Peeps' 70% off for some slumber party game. Just don't ask, it's better that way.

Put on running gear-you'll see in a minute. Get the 'Peeps'. Drop off Teen #2 at party. Go to baseball practice. Go for a quick run, 1.5 miles-9:47min/miles! Yippee! Practice is over! Double Yippee!

Take home Tween. Take car and keys to Teen #2. She is babysitting tomorrow and not staying overnight. Sad for her, yay for you! Now that she has a shiny new drivers license she can drive her own self home at 11:30 at night. This also gives you the opportunity to expand on your exercise for the day!

Literally run home after dropping of car and threatening bodily harm if she loses the keys. 2 miles-9:38min/miles! Happy Dance!

Shower. Fold laundry and hunker down with some popcorn and Powerade to do some knitting and watch 'Grimm', because at 48, that's what Friday night looks like.

Don't get me wrong I can still stay up late drinking Margaritas with the best of them. If my friends and I can coordinate our schedules which usually takes some sort of act of congress or natural disaster.

In conclusion I could have gotten up at 4 done the running then, but what fun would that be? And I would have still needed to get home after dropping the car off, soooo........there is always time to exercise you just have to think outside the box. Which I hear is good at staving off Alzheimers, you know, vary your routine, so I'm all about that! I fact, I may be the Queen of the un-routine.

I'm a rule follower, I like rules.

So my yearly mileage total was not as good as I had hoped. Just about 100 miles less than last year. Not really pleased about that, so in an effort to alleviate a repeat of that disappointing performance, I am off and running again in the new year.

To start with I have set a goal to run one race a month and have February thru September decided on. I did complete 3-1/2 marathons last year which was a record for me. I'll give myself a little credit for that, still have not PRd in that particular distance so that is another goal for this year. The schedule so far consists of 4-10K, 1-15K and 2-1/2 marathons. August's race is still up in the air because we will be taking my oldest to start college in August so I'm looking for a location run.

All of this leads up to why I broke one of my cardinal rules of running on Saturday, which is, 'Don't start a run in the pouring rain'. The problem being, I had already broken the 'No coffee before a workout.' rule, since I was up to transport my daughter to practice on one of the few days I could have slept in and I was planning on running later in the day I decided to stop for my new favorite coffee, Americano with whip cream.

Ok, you coffee purists please climb down off your high horses here. I know what your thinking. Probably what the Barista in Amsterdam was thinking when I ordered this summer and was European enough to just come right out and say, 'WHIP CREAM?! On AMERICANO????'. Yes! I say, just the right amount of sweet and cream without a lot of other junk. Anyway - Since it was so early in the day I was also breaking the 'No coffee before having a least a liter of water.' rule.

Now this may seem like a lot of rules and regulations to you, I am however a rule follower unless of course I am not fully on board with the spirit of the rule then I do believe that they are guidelines and therefore open to interpretation. So if you are sensible and possess some good old fashioned horse sense, which frankly I find to be greatly lacking among the general population, you should fair well.

This leads us to the fact that even though it was pouring rain I really had to get the run in to even out my exercise karma, and as an added bonus I was observing the 'Work exercise into the family schedule.' rule by running to my youngest sons basketball game and meeting them there.

This may still sound crazy to you, I'll own that! Its gotten me this far though at my goal weight for 41/2 years after loosing 53 lbs.  I say -  have said - may times there in no need to re-invent the wheel. If I am motivated by all this crazy stuff, well I should just keep up the good work!

In the end I was blessed by the exercise gods and the rain let up, there was even some sun! See? A healthy respect for the superstitions of life will pay off in the end.

Adding Protein to your Workout

My friend often says, 'you should have given me an aspiration warning with that text, email, blogpost...', meaning that whatever I have written and/or transmitted may cause her to laugh, snort and/or unexpectedly aspirate. So consider yourself warned.

This will be a bulleted point presentation that will allow you to add protein to your workout.

• Go for a run after working eight hours because it was that kind of day.

• Make sure to apply some sort of lip stuff, because that's what you usually do when you run.

• This allows the swarms of white ash flies to not only fly under your sunglasses, into your eyes, up your nose, straight down your throat, but to stick directly to your lips so that you appear to be some sort of crazy (ok crazier than usual) running, spitting and waving your arms to fend of the flies that of course only you can see due to their miniscule size.

• Not that you are one of those graceful effortless runners with legs up to there anyway, but this sort of behavior really isn't helping.
• Upon arriving home when your husband asks, 'How was your run'? you answer, 'Well, I did not appreciate the effect of the ash flies prior to embarking on this run'. 'Eewwww....', he says. He is alway so loving and supportive.  He is my biggest fan!

• Try not to think of the actual amount of white flies you may have ingested. It's just added protein, right?

Apricot Season

The other day I was eating lunch in the break room at work, which this time of year sometimes resembles a farmers market. I don't know what it is about nurses, but most of us have gardens, as if we're not busy enough! It is nice however to go home with a fresh tomato or lettuce or squash depending on where we are in the growing season.

One of my friends was telling me about her most recent farmers market acquisition, as she ate her yogurt with apricots. She had recently gotten 25 lbs. of apricots for $19.95, a steal and if we can't grow it, which apricots are a little dicey this far north, getting a great deal on them is the next best thing.

And while that is a great price I couldn't help thinking, 'I don't know what I would possibly do with that many apricots!', or that much of anything for that matter.

Well she proceeded to tell me, two apricot pies, an apricot crisp, apricot cobbler, a whole batch of apricot preserves, a batch of apricot freezer jam and she was now left with a large bowl on her counter that were just a few days away from a date with the dehydrator.

Now it is her and her husband at home, so this is where you separate the men from the boys.  Any real man who knows what's best for him and his gastronomic future is in the worst quandary of all. He is being supplied with ALL of these fantastic treats and treasures, made from scratch fresh everyday so he has to measure his words. Because we're all still thinking it, 'That's A LOT of APRICOTS!'

But any words to that effect may impact his ability to be served freshly baked homemade treats in the future. So I asked her, 'What's the hubby think of all the apricots?' 'Well he hasn't said anything yet', she said.

That is one smart and loving husband who knows what side his bread is buttered on.

Captain Safety

My friend and I went running at the crack of dawn today, well actually it would have been the crack of dawn last week, but now it's just plain dark. I of course was wearing my 'please don't hit me with your car' neon yellow top and neon orange running shoes. She was wearing one of those reflective neon yellow safety vests, which I had never seen her wear before. We have been running together for over a year.  "Yes", she said, "Captain Safety (meaning her husband) insisted on it". We started running, "Oh, let me tell you about my Captain Safety" I started, "Oh, no", she laughed.

Last week my husband offered to walk the dog in the morning so I could sleep in a little. Yes I agree, he is so sweet! Anyway, most days it is me or the kids that walk this dog. This dog came to us about 3 years ago.  He is a rescue, mild mannered and cute, but with some (and I use the word loosely) separation anxiety.  There is not enough doggie Valium out there for this dog's anxiety.

If there is someone here with him he is all good, no problems. He does not however want to be left alone. On the days when we both work and all kids are at school we were having a lot of trouble with him behaving badly when we tried to leave the house and after we had gone. Through trial and error we discovered if he has a good walk in the morning, 2 - 4 miles, he is perfectly happy to sleep the day away. Pretty cheap fix, I say.

So this morning my husband was taking him for his long walk. As they strolled along they encountered, joggers, other dog walkers and a guy carrying a fairly good sized box and loading it in his car. Hmmmmmm... This is not a usual activity for people at 430am in our little neighborhood. My husband being a police officer and just suspicious by nature began watching said, 'guy'.

Now I have to say as a police officer he always has a heightened sense of security where his family is concerned. In fact if I had walked the dog that day I would have gotten the rundown before leaving the house. Do you have your phone - yes, keys - yes, flashlight - yes, pepper spray - YES, what route will you be taking.... the list goes on, but I think you can see where I am going with this.  Whenever the kids and I are out and about on foot in the evening or early am we get this line of questioning. It's as if we are headed out for overnight field exercises rather than a casual stroll to get our persnickety dog to do his business.

My generous dog walking husband arrives home.  The dog races upstairs to greet me, his tail waving as he prances into the bathroom.  He is obviously proud of himself, and he's always happy to see me. The rest of the family well that can be a crap shoot - anyway, I'm chatting with the dog about his walk, he is wagging enthusiastically, and I hear my husband dialing the phone. High alert, Mrs. Kravitz mode.  He describes a guy, gives addresses etc, then I hear him coming upstairs. "So you decided to start work a little early today"?

I guess suspicious 20 something guys aren't concerned with middle aged guys walking with poodle mix dogs at 430am. Middle aged cops watching suspicious people in their neighborhood while walking poodle-y dogs notice everything. Keeping his eye on 'the guy', he continued on his mission with the dog and started to notice the cars parked along the street had open doors and/or trunks, broken windows etc. Uh-oh. Cue Cop Voice, "Hey, what are you doing"? 'Guy' slams his car door and speeds off.

- "Why'd you wait to call?", I said.
"Well... -sheepish pause -, I didn't take my phone with me".
-What?! (mocking incredulity)
"...and I didn't think I should confront the guy armed with a bag of dog poop and a poodle so..."
- Uh-huh...Sooooo you didn't take the flashlight or pepper spray either?
"Well, no....."

Acting like this whole exchange had not happened he said, "A cop may stop by." "Well did you give them your cell phone number?" "No, just the home." Oh Good Grief! Since he left before me and I was leaving before the kids I put one of his business cards near the door and told the kids the whole story.  When I got to the part about him calling out - What are you doing? - they all said, "Did he arrest him?" I had to break the news that no he hadn't because he didn't bring anything but the dog and a plastic bag on his walk.  Almost at once the 3 said, "The leash." They refrained from adding "Duh."

All I could say was, "Really?!", but I did have to tell my husband, even though we have 2 teens and a tween and the battles for independence are raging at our house, his kids have every confidence, that armed with nothing but a bag of poop, a leash and a rescue doge with an anxiety disorder, their Dad is fully capable of apprehending and arresting a neighborhood car prowler.  That's got to make him feel good.